Shopping ain't what it used to be...

I have been asked how on earth I can shop and go into public so often with all three kids and not lose my mind.  These parents always sound tired and desperate.  This post is dedicated to you all.  The ones who think I am different than you.  Shopping ain't what it used to be...

When I think back to myself before children I think of shopping and movies and lunch with friends.  Shopping was usually a focal point to any day out with another girl.  We would slowly walk through every isle of every store we came to picking out little treasures of awesome to buy.  This would go on for hours.  There would be stories and laughing and stopping for coffee. Stopping as in stopping with sitting and sipping involved.

Fast forward to life with one baby.  Man I thought life was tough.  I would plan my whole day around going to the store so as not to mess with Natalie's nap or a feeding.  I mean, heaven forbid my perfect angel have to nap in the car or even worse...miss one all together!  **Gasp**  I would pack the nine bazillion things that I thought I would need in the two hours I would be gone.  Diapers, wipes, creams, bibs, clothes, food, bottle, dresser, bedroom set...you know, the norm.


We would shop and I would talk to her like she gave a crap what I had to say.  I would rush through the store and get everything I needed and if I was lucky I would hit up a Star. bucks on the way home and try to slurp it down in between the massive amount of work it was taking care of her.  Did you hear the sarcasm there?  It was intended.  Go back and listen again if you missed it.


I would get home just in time to feed her again and get her down for her very important nap.  Ahhhh, "I am the perfect mom!" I would tell myself.  What a douche I was.  sigh


Fast forward again to the present.  I now have three children in tow.  One of whom goes through random spurts throughout the day where her sole purpose is to only do what she feels like doing along with little to no impulse control, one dramatic four year old (who thankfully is a dream when we are in public...it's like she knows I would literally duct tape her to the cart) and a 9 month old....who needs to eat and have naps and stuff.  


Now shopping looks like this:


"Ok, before we go in just remember to be safe.  Stay with me." 
I take 10 minutes getting the stroller or carseat out, unbuckling the girls, getting Alyssa situated next to Bennett while I coax Natalie out of the car because she dawdles just a tad.  Sarcasm...get used to it.  I then get her situated trained holding onto either the cart or stroller and we are ready to shop.  


We walk into the grocery store looking like the trains in India covered in people.  Natalie on one side, Alyssa on the other and Bennett riding.  Got the visual? 


Yep, we really do look like that.  

Then we proceed to start shopping.  *I do have to add here that I am super impressed with Natalie this summer and staying with us in public.  Hardly any running off and if she does, one time out takes care of it for the rest of the trip.  Completely amazing and a 180 from last year.  Thank you kindergarten!*


"Natalie do not poke your finger through the meat package.  Alyssa stay here or Natalie will bolt after you.  Hi Bennett!  Natalie please don't put things in the cart without checking with me.  (I have found the most random crap in my cart at checkout) Here Alyssa go find x,y,z in this isle for me.  Natalie you go find x."  I hurry and get the other things I need from that isle and we carry on to the next one. They don't ever ride in a fun kid cart since I hate pushing those things.  Whuck is up with putting the part that turns in the center?  May as well just put a sign on me that says "Hi my name is Lori and I will be knocking over every display in the store today"...for real.  Plus I think it's important and honestly, just expected, that a 4 and 6 year old should be able to walk like humans for an hour while we shop.  


This continues until we finish.  At some point Bennett will fall asleep and reawaken thus ruining the chance at a super long nap for the morning.  He will also sleep in the car on the way home...it's kinda the same as a real nap right?  Welcome to being the third kid.  Get used to it.  Mommy is busy.  ;)  We checkout where Natalie will try and run everything across the scanner for the grocer like they just can't be trusted to handle it.  Sometimes they think it's cute and she gets to "help".  With others I have to find her a different job like getting things out of the cart instead.  Hey, whatever works!  Then it's "Everybody back on the cart!" and we run, yes I did say run, it's quite a sight, back to the van.  Bennett goes in as the girls climb in and buckle in... kinda.  I put all the groceries in the car and finish buckling them in.  We are off!  I usually feel like I have earned a coffee at this point so I drive through and get one, drinking as we arrive home.  Kids out of car, unlock house door, get Bennett settled somewhere, unpack car, put groceries away then usually make lunch, feed B and get him down for a real nap (finally) and we move on with our day.  "Plan my whole day around a nap?" ...uh yea, that was about two babies ago.  That is something that new moms do because you can and think it's needed.  In reality, you are just stupid.  HAHA!  B is a great sleeper both for naps and at night.  He is not suffering due to living this way.  He is actually much more laid back and able to go with flow....duh. I wish I had believed this when I only had Natalie.  Oh the things I could have accomplished in a day!

Seriously.  This is my normal.  This is shopping now. It looks identical to this if I go to the mall so I just used grocery shopping as an example.  What happened to relaxing?  The difference is instead of feeling relaxed now I just feel like I have accomplished a mission equal to going to the moon.  Do you think they stop for a Star.bucks on the way back from the moon?  No?  Well then, I am definitely more accomplished.  :) 

Blog rewind- Field day, an unexpected lesson in happiness

When you are pregnant you lay with your hand on your belly and dream of all of the things you will do with your child.  Their first steps, first words, riding a bike, learning to read, their proms, graduation, college, wedding...you get the idea.  Being a former teacher I could not wait for school activities.  I saw myself volunteering in my children's classrooms and being there to see them on fun days like field day.  When Natalie was born I (hangs head in embarrassed shame) felt like those dreams shattered.  I felt like she wouldn't be able to do them and selfishly that meant I was going to miss out.  Do you see how a new parent still puts their own hopes and wants onto their children?  I wasn't thinking in terms of the experiences being hers to do with and feel however she wanted to.  I wanted to experience it.  Me.

Six years later here I sit.  Mommy to the most amazing three children.  I look at them and all I hope for in their lives is good health and for them to be happy....whatever that may look like to them. 

 

 

Yes, yes she did painstakingly choose that outfit for field day....down to the flower.  When I told her she needed to have some kind of pants on since it was sports she found pants and put them under her tutu.  Happiness!

 

She was too small to jump the hurdles so I told her to just run around them.  :)

 I don't care if they are doctors or hauling garbage.  I only hope that whatever they do it is something that they choose and something that fulfills them and leaves them smiling at the end of the day.  Natalie in particular has taught me that having children has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them.  It doesn't matter if I envisioned volunteering on field day and watching my child be awesome and win.  What matters is that she was there and had a good time.  THIS is the part of me that is changed still changing and evolving the longer I have been a mom.  

Notice all of the other children pulling and fighting to get that rope across the line and win....notice my girl not pulling at all.  Notice her smile, notice their lack there of.  Happy!

Field day.  It was finally here.  The real deal, at the school I used to teach at, surrounded by former colleagues with their students.  I was there as a parent.  I was there to cheer on my daughter no matter how she chose to enjoy HER field day.  I wanted (note, it shouldn't have been about what I wanted at all) to see her fit in.  To mainstream in with all of the kindergarten classes and not stand out.  After six years I want her to be happy first but that damned little voice in the back of my head still insists that fitting in means happiness.  Lesson learned my girl.... lesson learned. 

Joy and being able to find it no matter what is the essence of what happiness is really all about.  I watched my girl get a bit overwhelmed by all of the rules of the games and the amount of people on the field.  I watched her not really comprehend what the heck was going on on what is usually her playground and gymnasium.  I watched that last itty bitty piece of the old me shatter (FINALLY) and what was left behind was the knowledge that it doesn't matter what I feel should make her day fun.  SHE FINDS FUN.  SHE MAKES FUN.  She IS fun. If she doesn't understand what is going on she just does what is fun to her and in the end she had the blast that I wanted her to have to begin with. 

 It was tear jerking and awesome and I went home feeling a bit emotionally raw.  I feel like I walked away from that field that day just a little wiser, a little bit of a better parent and even more in awe of the girl sent here to teach me all of it.  I watched her sister compete with Natalie's class and do everything I used to hope Natalie would do.  I also watched her cheer for her sister and stop to help her succeed.  I watched her get sidetracked into Natalie's world and just have fun.  I watched her naturally be the person I have spent six years morphing into.  I love that.  I love that she just gets "it" and at the end of the day everyone had a blast.  Thank you big girl.  Thank you for teaching us all what happiness really is about and how to just not give a crap what people think.  What would our lives have been without you?  "Perfect"?  Full of blue ribbons and competition to be the best at everything?  No thanks.  I choose belly laughing at my girl having the time of her life running away from the finish line.  I choose a field day all about living in the Id. I choose laid back fun and supportive siblings.  I choose her.  I choose happiness. 

 

Parenting ain't for sissies...

Parenting is a weird creature.  It single handedly strips away all that you thought was so important before you had kids, rearranges it and throws it back in your face.  For example, in your teens and early 20's you spend all of your time trying to find yourself.  You obsess over clothes, makeup, boys, friends, what you want to be when you grow up, where you want to live...me,me,me,me.  The world is your oyster.  You plan and envision everything that you will do out in that big, bad ass world.  Then you meet a boy (or girl), possibly get married, buy a house, and ....have kids.  You are still a bad ass woman out in the world working and being all independent and stuff.  You are pregnant, still feeling like the world is your oyster, people give up their seats on buses, throw showers, and overall oogle over you.  Then you have your little perfect bundle of awesome.  You still have a great sense of style only none of your clothes fit so you kind of live in pj pants and t-shirts.  You may still have that awesome career you worked so hard for but you spend your day thinking about what your new little human is doing.  You may have given up that career that you worked so hard for so you are actually staring at your little human all day as not to miss a single thing. 

Makeup?  What's that?  Boys?...Got one!  Friends?  LOVE THEM!  Well, when I can find the time in between feeding the baby to escape for a bit to enjoy them.  Finding yourself?  Did that!....then kind of got sidetracked by said little human and became their mommy instead of strictly my own person. 

Parenting is weird.  You think you are doing awesome and have it all together without giving up any of yourself in the process until you walk by a mirror one day and realize that your shirt has barf on the shoulder, your hair is in a pony tail for the tenth day in a row, your jeans have a stain on them that you are pretty sure has something to do with your mini's food (although you can't remember which meal) and you haven't done anything for yourself in what feels like a million years.  Those without children by choice are now saying "WELL DUH!  That's why I don't have children!!!"

Those of us with children are saying ...."You have no idea how wonderful it is."  See?  It doesn't make sense at all.  Parenting is weird!  Nothing about it follows the rules of life. Having a baby in the house is like parenting boot camp.  It is the hardest yet easiest part of parenting.  How can that even make sense?!  I am here to tell you that it does.  Parenting is SO hard.  SO tiring.  SO mind numbingly boring yet overwhelming all at the same time.  WEIRD I SAY!

It is hidden moments during a day where you want to just cry because you love your mini(s) so much.

There are playroom tent days for no other reason than that you are finally the parent and you can if you wanna. :)

It is staring at your children for hours trying hard to memorize every face they make so that you never forget that specific moment in time.

It's realizing that even though time seems to stand still when you are in the thick of it, it is really flying by faster than you can ever wrap your head around.

Birth

3 months

It is feeling like you have lost yourself for a bit and being totally ok with it because you are busy making their lives better....and you know that parenting is weird and your time to shine will return.

Parenting makes you randomly step back and assess your life and what's important.  You all of a sudden look at your "baby" and realize that she is the big girl now, and she loves her brother more than you ever dared to hope she would.

You look at your first "baby" and realize that she is about to be a first grader and it makes your heart skip a beat and your eyes fill with tears because wasn't she just his age?

You are tired and burned out.  You feel like you will never do anything for yourself again.  You go to the bathroom and on the odd occasion they let you keep the door shut the entire time, you feel like you are on a vacation.  Five hours of consecutive sleep feels like a day a the spa.  You think "Why did I do this again?"

....and then you remember...

 

 

...and remembering it all is half the battle...

The things that make them happy...

Wow, blog slacker much?

We have been busy but in the mundane day to day kind of way.  Not a whole lot to write about over the last few weeks.  I figured that we couldn't be getting through this many days in a row without anything fun happening so I have consciously tried to keep my camera close this week to catch what I thought were everyday moments.  Turns out our everyday moments are kind of fun. hahaha  Who knew?

I met Natalie at the bus yesterday with a cup of bubbles and I literally saw her whole world brighten.  It's been SO HOT lately that I hadn't done that since...I don't know... last year.  *Insert embarrassed face here*  Just the thought of sitting on our driveway in 95 degree heat made me want to curl into the fetal position so when the weather broke yesterday I was all "WOOOT BUBBLES AT THE BUS!"


...Evidently, so was Natalie. 




Recipe to make a three year olds day:
1. One full day of preschool.
2.  Add in a daddy who took a half a day off and surprises said three year old at pick up.
3.  Pull into closest playground and say "GO!" with just a mommy and a daddy all to yourself.
4.  Leave playground and go to cupcake bakery and tell said three year old to pick any one she wants.

End result of recipe = three year old in the backseat saying "You guys are the best!  That was the best surprise!" 



There are so many people who think that life is about money, expensive colleges, highly respected careers, fancy clothes and shiny cars. It's hard to get those people to see what we see, the joy in a cupcake.  The laughter over bubbles circling in the wind.  The hug from a kid who thinks that the park and a day alone with mommy and daddy was "The best EVER!".  Sometimes, actually usually, it really is the little things.  The day to day "mundane" that make our lives feel fulfilled.  I thought that our days were just hum drum and boring until I challenged myself to bring my camera along with me this week.  I honestly thought to myself...oh lordy, this is going to be great. A bunch of photos of me doing dishes and kids making giant messes in the playroom.  Turns out, we are doing fun things.  They are learning and having fun in spite of me being exhausted and hugely pregnant.  Most of all, even at our most "boring" I have learned that our little moments are our big moments and even though they feel little to Cliff and I....they are the big moments to our children.

...And that makes them big moments to us.

Get out and enjoy all the little moments with your families and have a great weekend!  

Don't forget to leave me a comment telling me about your favorite little moments.

Kindergarten.....sniff

I can't believe I am actually sitting here writing this post. I can't believe my "baby" is in kindergarten! I wasn't nearly as nervous or upset as I thought I would be when it was time to drop her off. I kind of feel like dropping her off for preschool when she was 3 was her real first day of school and this was just a continuation. 

At the same time I was all nostalgic with the fact that she was beginning her big girl school years at the same place that my school years (teaching) left off. It's like she stepped right into the world I left behind to stay home with her. I worked at this school right out of college until I had her.  I LOVED it there and felt like it was my family away from home as much as one can when they are at work.  This school saw me through getting married, struggling to get pregnant, teaching while pregnant and finally having Natalie and all the emotions that came with her.  It was the first place I took her when we left the NICU because I just couldn't wait to show her off to people that I knew would see nothing but my gorgeous baby girl.  They did not disappoint...picture a building full of women, add newborn. haha She has been smothered and loved there since that day by all the same people who she now sees on a daily basis.  I can't tell you how comforting that is. I love me some full circleness!!!

I have been so disgustingly excited about this year beginning due to the fact that her teacher is AMAZING!  I had some major separation anxiety at the end of preschool at the thought of leaving her teachers who were also completely amazing.  I was worried this year would bring with it a teacher who wouldn't get her, who wouldn't have the patience or the personality to bring out the best in my girl.  I could not have been more off.  So far Natalie has done nothing but beam when asked about school and that to me speaks volumes.  I even heard that she crawled up onto her teachers lap and laid her head on her shoulder.  That.is.unheard.of! haha  

Ok back to the first day...focus! That morning went off without a hitch.  She got ready to go and about ran to the car with her backpack...thinking she might have been just a tad bored with staying home all summer with me. haha

She took off her backpack, put it in the car and hopped in and buckled herself.  Excited much?

It's weird when you step back for a minute and realize just what a big kid your "baby" really is.  She is a champion and I am so proud to be her mommy.  Just 5 short years ago our lives were in a state of shock and what ifs.  Of fear and unknowns.  Of doubts in ourselves and in what the future held for our girl.  Today....well, today they all just kind of melted away.  

I got her out of the car where she promptly grabbed her backpack and headed for the door.  I had to call her back for a kiss and a quick hug (obviously more for me than for her haha).  She then turned, took her teacher's hand and headed in like she had been going there for years. 


Not sure what she was saying here but I couldn't get her to stop talking long enough to get a smile...I wonder where she gets that from?  


Saying "Cheese!"  

I gave a little sniff and a wave as we sent her in for her first day of big girl school.  Kindergarten, how did we get here so fast?  I hope that she enjoys the new crayon smell as much as her mama does.  Off to wait on the bus now....  :)

A little bit of this and a little bit of that...

This is the post that is dedicated to all of the cute pictures that I didn't have any other post to put them with. HAHA! Enjoy! 


Birthday fun!
First off, Natalie got a fun birthday package in the mail from Cliff's parents (ma-ma and Dodaddy).  We got right to work opening and oogling all that was in it.











LOVE YOU!!!!!

Sisters!
When Alyssa was born all I wanted was to have two little girls who would always usually enjoy being sisters.  I visualized cuddles and giggles and sisterly awesomeness.  They do not disappoint. 


...A little teamwork...

My new wife...
Our good friend Sabrina and her daughter Chloe have been staying with us.  The girls have meshed together like sisters and every once in awhile there is a moment of peace where we all think....peshaw, this is easy.  ;)




Bubbles!

Last week Alyssa and I met Natalie at the bus with a whole bunch of new bubble goodness.  One new gargantuan bottle of bubbles and we are ready for summer!

 




Notice the STILL favorite dress Kristi... this year it is a short little sundress instead of calf length but she is still workin it.  HAHA!





Anyone else notice the one blue bubble?  How cool is that?!

I love this time of year.  It is filled with birthdays and the first warm days of bubbles and playgrounds.  I love seeing my girlies in skirts and short sleeves.  I love that I now have two big girls who can enjoy each others company and really play together.  Grills and backyard pools?.... BRING IT!

The long awaited birthday post...

This is going to possibly be a post of few words and many photos since most of you are just here to see the photos anyway for this one.  hahaha

We had planned this big birthday bash at the neighborhood playground but as the big day approached people started falling like flies off our guest list.  By the time Saturday afternoon rolled around we were down to two of our good, good friends and Cliff's dad (Dodaddy).  We decided to just have it at the house since it was really warm out and the pollen count was INSANE.  All in all I think it was a birthday success and I cannot thank Jamie and Maggie (and families) enough for coming out to help us celebrate!!! 

Making her cupcakes.

 

Onto the big day!

 

Look at the intense concentration!  This is important stuff people!  







 

Did you feel like you were there? We hope so, we missed you all.  Happy birthday big 5 year old!