Monday, February 27, 2012

Parenting ain't for sissies...

Parenting is a weird creature.  It single handedly strips away all that you thought was so important before you had kids, rearranges it and throws it back in your face.  For example, in your teens and early 20's you spend all of your time trying to find yourself.  You obsess over clothes, makeup, boys, friends, what you want to be when you grow up, where you want to live...me,me,me,me.  The world is your oyster.  You plan and envision everything that you will do out in that big, bad ass world.  Then you meet a boy (or girl), possibly get married, buy a house, and ....have kids.  You are still a bad ass woman out in the world working and being all independent and stuff.  You are pregnant, still feeling like the world is your oyster, people give up their seats on buses, throw showers, and overall oogle over you.  Then you have your little perfect bundle of awesome.  You still have a great sense of style only none of your clothes fit so you kind of live in pj pants and t-shirts.  You may still have that awesome career you worked so hard for but you spend your day thinking about what your new little human is doing.  You may have given up that career that you worked so hard for so you are actually staring at your little human all day as not to miss a single thing. 

Makeup?  What's that?  Boys?...Got one!  Friends?  LOVE THEM!  Well, when I can find the time in between feeding the baby to escape for a bit to enjoy them.  Finding yourself?  Did that!....then kind of got sidetracked by said little human and became their mommy instead of strictly my own person. 

Parenting is weird.  You think you are doing awesome and have it all together without giving up any of yourself in the process until you walk by a mirror one day and realize that your shirt has barf on the shoulder, your hair is in a pony tail for the tenth day in a row, your jeans have a stain on them that you are pretty sure has something to do with your mini's food (although you can't remember which meal) and you haven't done anything for yourself in what feels like a million years.  Those without children by choice are now saying "WELL DUH!  That's why I don't have children!!!"

Those of us with children are saying ...."You have no idea how wonderful it is."  See?  It doesn't make sense at all.  Parenting is weird!  Nothing about it follows the rules of life. Having a baby in the house is like parenting boot camp.  It is the hardest yet easiest part of parenting.  How can that even make sense?!  I am here to tell you that it does.  Parenting is SO hard.  SO tiring.  SO mind numbingly boring yet overwhelming all at the same time.  WEIRD I SAY!

It is hidden moments during a day where you want to just cry because you love your mini(s) so much.
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There are playroom tent days for no other reason than that you are finally the parent and you can if you wanna. :)
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It is staring at your children for hours trying hard to memorize every face they make so that you never forget that specific moment in time.
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It's realizing that even though time seems to stand still when you are in the thick of it, it is really flying by faster than you can ever wrap your head around.
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Birth

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3 months

It is feeling like you have lost yourself for a bit and being totally ok with it because you are busy making their lives better....and you know that parenting is weird and your time to shine will return.
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Parenting makes you randomly step back and assess your life and what's important.  You all of a sudden look at your "baby" and realize that she is the big girl now, and she loves her brother more than you ever dared to hope she would.
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You look at your first "baby" and realize that she is about to be a first grader and it makes your heart skip a beat and your eyes fill with tears because wasn't she just his age?
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You are tired and burned out.  You feel like you will never do anything for yourself again.  You go to the bathroom and on the odd occasion they let you keep the door shut the entire time, you feel like you are on a vacation.  Five hours of consecutive sleep feels like a day a the spa.  You think "Why did I do this again?"

....and then you remember...
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...and remembering it all is half the battle...
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