Thursday, August 25, 2011

The beginning...

 ...Of preschool that is!  All of my friends have been talking about how great it will be.  "Oh Lori just wait!  You will have 3 days a week with time all to yourself and it is AWESOME!"  In the back of my mind I couldn't help but think I am not ready...I like being home with my girls.  I CHOSE to leave my career behind to stay home with them. I kind of live for it... Most of my friends feel the same way.  They kind of like those few hours alone but honestly don't know what to do with themselves.  Not like I don't know how to be alone or how to appreciate a little quiet, just that I really, truly miss my kids when they aren't here.  I would rather grocery shop with them than without.  I either get the eye roll/deep sigh/"you are crazy" from other moms when I say that or they nod in agreement.  It is a quick way to find other moms like yourself...just say "my kids are both in school this year for the first time" then wait for their response. haha

Back to my girl.  Alyssa has watched patiently as Natalie has gone off to school day after day for the last two years.  Like me, she enjoyed the break, but missed her sister a lot. 

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She was involved with Natalie's preschool class whenever I went in to volunteer since Natalie's teachers were incredible and just kind of sucked her into whatever they were doing.  A year ago she was no where near ready to leave my side.  Then all of a sudden....she just was.  Her little wings grew a bit bigger and off she went.  She was SO excited and SO proud to be the big girl going to her own school "just like Natalie".  

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She picked out her first backpack and couldn't wait to wear it in.  

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We weren't even all the way out of the car and she was ready to high tail it into her new world of big girl-ness.  I kept my cool and waddled after her trying to get pictures...waddle, waddle

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I was so excited for her and at the same time so sad that we were at this point already.  The beginning of the school years.  The beginning of really letting go.  The beginning of the end of it just being her and I against the world all day. The beginning of me trusting my daughters future to strangers...the beginning of it all.   

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I looked on proudly as she hung up her backpack and put her lunch box on the shelf.  I held back tears as I kissed her goodbye to her sweet voice saying "Bye mommy!"  I stayed strong as her words from earlier in the morning rang through my head "You are going to drop me off and I am going to stay for 3 and a half HOURS!!!"  The excitement in her voice and the total lack of fear let me know that we had done good and that she was indeed ready to fly.   
I on the other hand got back into my car and proceeded to sob for the next 5 minutes...when do mom's wings get bigger?  I don't feel like I am quite ready to fly....sigh



2 comments:

  1. sniff! Mama I cried for you. I am so glad she's at an awesome place!

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  2. Awhhh, this makes me so sad...I totally know where you're at...I still get upset dropping my babies off in the morning!! She's loving it though and you can rest easy knowing you're doing a great thing for her. And you'll have some extra time for you and your little man when he arrives soon!!! Miss ya Lori!!
    Kylie

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