Just like me....and a little bit of Down syndrome

I hear all the time that N looks just like me *beams* but she is also JUST. LIKE. ME...with a little something extra.  I instinctively want to blame anything annoying or tough about her on the fact that she has Down syndrome when in fact I have come to realize that it is just the "me" in her.   She is stubborn, silly, wonderful, artistic, opinionated and fiercely independent...no denying where that came from.  sigh  


Having a child just like yourself should not be allowed.  I know her too well, too deeply aware of why she is doing what she is doing on a level that no one else seems to understand, why she just had to throw the baggie of cookies into the potty right after earning them for finally pooping (because she could...that is the correct answer in case you were wondering).  I don't have to ponder where her weird ideas of fun come from or why it takes a miracle to get a hug or a cuddle b/c she. is. just. like. ME.  To play with her and giggle with her is pure bliss.  It is everything I ever wanted.  To fight with her or try to teach her something new is not, NOT I tell you!  It is everything I dread about raising her.  When she was born and we heard those scary words that no parent thinks they can handle "We think she has Down syndrome" I feared everything about raising her.  Her health, her happiness, educating her to her highest ability without failing her in some way.  Now that she is four I realize that what I fear about raising her has nothing to do with that cute little extra chromosome she gets to have and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that she is me.  I was there when I was a kid, I was in my head, I got to hear and live the annoyances (and fun) of being me.  "Cute and cuddly" is how I hear people describe children/people with DS......really?  Always?  Are you sure of that stereotype?  Would you like to come spend a day with mini and I? So the next time you  hear someone say "They are so lucky, children with ds are the most loving and cuddly children"......you will smile like we do, because you will know that they have no idea.  ;)