Monday, August 30, 2010

I think I am related to Donald Duck...


So the skinny girl inside is starting to get louder than the fat girl holding her in.  I NEED to adapt a healthier lifestyle.  I NEED to eat for fuel and not to fill a void.  I NEED to work out and stretch my body because let's face it, I can. There are so many out there who would give anything to have a working, healthy body and here I am slowly destroying mine.  

I am on a mission.... I can feel it differently this time.  Like my brain FINALLY gets it.  I have to work for what I want and not just when I want to.  I AM going to be healthy and I am so sorry to my friends who are going to have to listen to me be all preachy for a little while until I get used to this new normal.  Don't worry, I annoy myself with it too.  ;)

So as part of this "finding myself" I am doing the 30 day shred and LOVE it.  I get it in the mail and am all "YAY" while running to the house from the I thought I was getting a prize.  I change into my oh so sexy new workout shorts, sports bra and tshirt.  I pop the bad boy into the dvd player and.....the freaking player isn't hooked to the tv.  GRRR!  Grabbed the portable player and got it all working.  Let us visualize here....teeeeny tiny player on the kids bookshelf with me parallel to the turned off tv.  The tv which looks like I giant mirror when turned off.  

I didn't notice the horrific implications of this as I set everything up.  I get the dvd going....I start doing jumping jacks.....bloop!  REALLY!?!?! Am I really that fat girl who has had two babies who can't do 1 freaking jumping jack without peeing?  ***runs to bathroom for a monster "I just had a baby" pad**** Back to business....  Ok, now this video is no freaking joke and in like 3 seconds I am sweating and hating her.  I figure that I am home alone so I will just lose the shirt (sports bra in place) and finish a little more comfortable.  Off goes the tshirt and I am back in business.  There are weights, and crunches and more jumping around and I just happen to glance at the tv for whatever reason and just about died laughing at the half naked woman jumping around my living room....

Then the rational part of my brain kicks in and I realize it is me.  ACK!  To top it all off?  From the side I am shaped like Donald Duck!  When the F did that happen?  My ass is all shelflike and my gut is all "are we pregnant still?"  AHHHH!  I am THAT girl!  

I am going to get healthier and I am mad at all of my friends out there who didn't tell me I am shaped like a Disney character.


  1. HAHAHAHA - welcome to my hell. But unlike your Mom, you are smart enough to really look in that mirror before you reached 67 years old. Proud of you....

  2. Oh Lori...this post totally cracked me up!! You certainly don't look like freaking Donald Duck!!! You know you're fabulous!! It's great that you're working so hard to get healthier and get yourself in shape!!! I need to get on that bandwagon soon but right now I'm not motivated to do it...and as you know, you've got to want to do it before it'll really happen. Hopefully something will click here sooner than later!!! Love ya W*@#* :) :) HAHAHAHA...Had to add that in there for old time sake!

  3. I also peed my pants the first (and only) time I did The Shred.

    Keep going Daisy...I mean Lori.